Last night while I was at work, my former intern/soulmate Georgia sent me what is perhaps the greatest link ever. With one click I discovered the blue eyes of a porcelain doll who the seller claims is “haunted by the spirit of a 15-year-old hussy from 1769.” According to the site, she “made her way from her settlement in Rhode Island, to the newly established San Diego, trading her body for food, water, and once a broken down old horse.” The seller wants the doll gone because she often stinks of cheap whiskey and sex. The only stipulation was that you had to be mentally sound and over 18 to buy the doll, both of which I am! So what did I do, I bought that prostitute doll for Georgia!!!
APRIL FOOLS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHH!
I would never dare buy Georgia a doll possessed by an evil whore from the 1700s. Though the rest of the story is true. Georgia did send me the link to the doll sold on a site called “Regretsy: Where DIY meets WTF.” It’s a spoof on Etsy, which is actually completely hilarious and sells things like crotchet breast implants and well, dolls who have evil slutty spirits in them.
So while I would never ever send something evil to Georgia, I really do appreciate the much needed laugh while toiling at dawn. I know few people in the world love April Fools Day like Georgia, so here’s to you, G! Thanks for making every day feel like April 1st.