Whereas I used to keep lipstick and breath mints in my purse, I now keep diapers and stain remover in there. Well, in addition to the lipstick. And the mints. And a whole bunch of other junk like old binkies, extra AA batteries, sticks of cheese, tweezers, and plastic Elmo dolls. But, the point of this post is that I never leave the house without my stain spray lately. Why? Oh, just because I am constantly spilling on my ever-growing belly. I’m not kidding, every day when I change into my pajamas, I look down at my shirt and realize something like, “Oh crap, was that mustard stain there all day?”
It’s really quite pathetic. A big belly shouldn’t just turn someone into a pig overnight, but that’s exactly what it’s done to me. I mean, at any given point of the day, no matter what I am wearing, a small child could probably scavenge a snack from the front of my shirt. Not that I was ever a neat person; I’ve always been the kind of girl that spills red wine down the front of her wedding gown or the person who walks around with Krispy Kreme frosting smeared all over my face for hours at work without realizing it.
But this belly has taken my Pig Pennishness to a whole new level. It’s always poking its way into trouble!