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Stacey thanks the eye drops that saved her sanity

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Ever have something in your eye for days? Well, then, you know how sucky it is and how absolutely bat shit craaaaazy it can make you. For the last 96 hours, I had some sort of particle in my eyeball and it was making me nuts.

I honestly feel like I went through the multiple stages of grief while trying to coax the troublesome grit out — it was like I was working through job loss or divorce. First I felt denial (”Maybe if I just go to sleep I’ll wake up with a clear eye”), then frustration (”I can’t wear mascara! Crap!”, then rage (”Mother Fu*%$#!!”), then despair (”I’ll never feel normal again…”). I found myself bargaining with God that if he’d get that stupid speck out of my eye I’d never sleep in my contacts ever again and making deals with the devil promising my immortal soul in exchange for a speck-free eye. Nothing worked.

Finally, I dumped a whole bottle of eye drops into a shot glass — while wishing I could actually do a shot — and pretended I was doing an eye flush after a chemical explosion. (This is an accomplishment for me too, considering I have an eye phobia.) And Voila! Freedom!!!