Even at six weeks pregnant, I am already concerned I may split my pants at any moment. All of a sudden, my regular clothes are looking as if they are painted on. I’m afraid that one wrong move picking Ollie up at the playground or tying my shoe may cause a “riiiiiiip!” that sets my ass on display for the world.
However, luckily, just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I have to invest hundreds of dollars in mu-mus and elastic waistband pants to fit my growing booty and belly. My friend Ingrid, who just had a baby in October, was nice enough to bequeath me with tons of maternity clothes so come Thanksgiving when the baby is due and I’m the size of the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria — at least I’ll still be wearing cute outfits.
With three babies currently under our collective belts, Ingrid and I have amassed an incredible amount of maternity clothes. We combined both our collections for one enormous stockpile of mother-to-be wear. There’s maternity swimsuits, sun dresses, formal wear, and business suits to make large bellied women all over the world drool. Now the boxes just keep getting passed back and forth as if we’re playing a game of knocked-up hot potato. This time, I’m it.