As a writer who attended a liberal arts school where I got to fulfill my science requirement with “Geology of the Hudson Valley” better known as “rocks for English majors,” I have grown quite fearful that the quantitative side of my brain is atrophying. That’s the right side of the sucker, the one I never ever use for anything except calculating the tip at restaurants.
They say speaking a foreign language comes from that end of our noggins, but these days I barely speak French with anyone, so even that portion may be giving up. Something must be done! I have been trying to add numbers without a calculator, the few times I ever have to do this, and it is so pathetically slow that I don’t think it’s helping a thing. But one thing I thought might help is taking up chess. I read this article about tiny little girls playing chess, which was so long regarded as a very very dorky boys “sport” and it kind of inspired me. If these Hannah Montanas could scream “check mate,” so could I!
So I bought this chess book for complete morons. Not “Chess for Idiots,” but chess for very very simpleminded idiots. It says things like, “that is your knight, do not call it the horsey.” It’s perfect for me! And along with this chess bible for fools, I also bought the coolest chess board I could find, designed my Michael Graves for Target. That’s right! Target. But that’s our little secret. Now I have the book, the cool board, and a hope that I might have two working sides of my brain in the future. And of course, my favorite chess piece is definitely the horsey.