Just this past October I got to cry and wail and toast to the good old days while serving as my friend Lauren’s maid of honor. I’ve known Lauren since I was 11 and thought about scanning all these horrific photos of us where we have puffy paint sweatshirts on and the fashion sense of Mao Zedong, but I refrained. I loved growing up with Lauren – smooching boys in her mom’s basement, drinking until our eyes crossed and then drinking some more, and learning how to be grown ups together.
Lauren’s wedding was really touching for me as I just adore her now husband Mark and was thrilled that they chose each other to rub genitals with for the rest of their lives. Of course none of us were expecting their baby making to actually make babies so fast. Much to everyone’s surprise, especially theirs, Lauren and Mark’s boot knockin in the presidential suite at the W on their wedding night not only nearly broke the bed, but created a child.
While some children scare the bejesus out of me, I can’t wait until Lauren has her baby. I know her and Mark will be amazing parents and she will be very understanding when I dye her child’s hair purple and encourage her to smooch during play group. I am not close to ready to be a mother myself, but I am more than prepared to be a neurotic irresponsible aunt. Congrats Lauren and Mark!!