I don’t know what the weather is like in your part of the world, but in DC you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. I am tempted to start stuffing ice in my clothes. I walk to lunch and seriously have dreams of working in a sarong and a bra. But I control myself. There are some gals in town who don’t feel the need though. And on the pages of the fabulous world of tabloids, there is so much retouched girl skin, it’s like we live in a nudist colony.
So I must ask an age old question: with all this flesh, where is the man candy? Well, anywhere Matthew McConaughey is. Even if he is not your type, as a red blooded American woman, I have to appreciate the fact that the man is always naked. And I mean always. I just Googled him and there was nary a stitch on him in any photo.
Luckily the zany character from Texas has a pretty decent bod. Good tan, penchant for board shorts, six pack abs. And he is ready for you to check it out! He is rather well known for cavorting in the (almost) buff with Lance Armstrong; those two may be the original bromance. But I think where I appreciated his bod the most was in the life-changing film, “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.” Matthew is forced to take off his shirt after he is splashed by some mud on his motorcycle and then what do you know, Kate Hudson and him get frisky in his parents’ bathroom. The man must have a clause in every movie. No nude scene, no muscles McConaughey. I’ll take it!
Typical Matthew pic. I bet he even goes shirtless to black-tie affairs.
Here he is not wearing a shirt in a venue where others are clothed. It's probably a state dinner.
Ick. Did you hear what Jessica Simpson said on Ellen the other day? No clue how they got on this subject, but apparently Simpson said she only brushes her teeth “maybe three times a week.” GROSSSSSS!!! It actually gives me goosebumps thinking about the nastiness of that. I couldn’t go 12 hours without brushing my teeth! Even if I ever felt too lazy to brush, after reading what all dental community has said about the perils of missing a brush (she’s really caused a backlash in oral hygiene!), I would never skip. In fact, it makes me want to buy a travel toothbrush for my purse — because you can never be too careful.
Apparently Jess doesn’t want to brush her teeth more than that several times per week because she doesn’t like them to “feel too slippery.” BARF BARF BARF. Um, note to you, Jess: Teeth SHOULD feel slippery! Not like sandpaper. I’m not kidding, as soon as I read about this, I immediately went into the bathroom and brushed, flossed, and used mouthwash. My teeth were slippery as hell and it was great. I even could have thanked my Sonicare system (probably the greatest toothbrush ever invented) because every time I brush it makes me feel like I just got back from the dentist.
The thing is, I really like Jessica Simpson, and am wondering — why in God’s name would she say something like this? Why do celebrities do this to themselves? It really makes me appreciate being a normal person!
Ah, the weekend. I wish I could say this was a quiet Saturday at home watching movie after movie, but sadly, Grey and I are busy as bees between trying to sell this house and get things prepared to move. Though I undoubtedly won’t have time to watch a movie this weekend, I did have a spare sec to update my Netflix queue so that starting next Friday, we can be complete bums.
I must say, I LOVE Netflix feature called, “Taste Preferences.” Based on the movies you’ve rated highly they suggest other ones you may like. So far, they’ve been dead on. They get me. Though I love everything pink and floral and girly in real life, I have a penchant for anything sick and warped in the pretend land of Hollywood.
Thankfully, we don’t live in communist Russia and some guy in the KGB isn’t sitting alone in a dark room monitoring my creepy movie choices, because truthfully, if they were, I’d be thrown in the slammer. I like some demented stuff. House of Exorcism? Five stars! The Adventures of Baron Munchausen? A+++! The Omen 666? Bring it on!
After watching Britney eat Cheetos while wearing the previous night’s eyeliner, walk into gas station bathrooms without shoes, almost drop her babies on their heads — I oddly identify with her. It’s not because we both love anything covered in synthetic cheese (I do! Yum!) or because I go barefoot in 7/11 (I don’t! Eww!), but rather, because Britney is real.
Sure, her boobs probably aren’t, but Britney just seems so genuine. She screws up just like everyone else. With her, what you see is what you get: a rare thing in Hollywood. That’s why I LOVE the website Poor Britney. Not only is the author hilarious, but she genuinely cares about Britney Spears. Checking her website sure beats the hell out of looking at CNN.com or my bank statement for the millionth time!
This could have been me last week. Only, I don't have a bodyguard to help me when I almost drop Ollie.