I never thought I would be willfully spending one of my rare long weekends in small town USA. I also never thought I would be happy as a lark dating someone from a town of 400 in fly-over country. But there I was perched on hay bales, rounding up horses, eating at Applebees, and rah-rahing at eight-man football games right along side a born and bred Husker.
Buying breakfast at a gas station every morning was certainly a memorable experience, as was visiting the world’s largest porch swing, and kissing by the tractor pull tracks. But the highlight of the trip was when one of the local farmers explained to me how lucrative “haulin’ hog semen for Farmer Frankenhoff,” was. I thought I heard him wrong and gave a royal nod and smile, but he really was talking to me about the moneymaker known colloquially as pig sperm.
For a girl whose nickname is Snobby Tanabe, you could say I was a tad out of my element. But hell, if Eva Gabor could do it in “Green Acres,” so can I!