The date is set; I will have my baby no later than November 16th! Today I actually scheduled my c-section after worrying about the choice for months. That being said, this doesn’t actually mean I will definitely have the baby ON the 16th; I could go into labor earlier than that and end up having a c-section on November 9th or the 13th, but in case I don’t go into labor beforehand, I at least have a date set for the procedure on the 16th.
If you’re wondering why I have to have a cesarean, it’s because I had one with Ollie (after 20+ hours of labor), and the hospital here in Delaware won’t let me try for a VBAC. Something that is kind of disappointing and also a relief at the same time. On the bright side, I don’t have to push anything 7+ pounds out my crotch, however, it is surgery, and well, being cut open is never exactly fun. I’m really fine with the C though. I had such an easy recovery last time from my surgery that I think this time will be even better (since I won’t have the stress of labor first).
But you can’t imagine how much this whole pick-the-birthday-thing has been stressing me out. There’s something about choosing the date your child is born that just doesn’t sit right with me. There’s so much pressure! This is a date the kid will celebrate for the rest of his life! And that I will celebrate! Then I started thinking about auspicious days and lucky days and astrology and that REALLY turned up the heat on my scheduling of this surgery.
Luckily, I turned to such reliable sources as random websites for help. I began madly Googling, “auspicious days in 2010″ and “best days to have a baby” and “lucky days in November” and came across ChineseFortuneCalendar.com which told me November 16th is a lucky day. Since my due date is technically the 22nd, they won’t let me schedule before the 15th, and I figured if the 16th is said to be an auspicious day, then it’ll be a good time to bring on a baby, right? And you never know, I could go into labor well before the 16th, but at least I know I won’t be going past then!
I don’t know what the weather is like in your part of the world, but in DC you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. I am tempted to start stuffing ice in my clothes. I walk to lunch and seriously have dreams of working in a sarong and a bra. But I control myself. There are some gals in town who don’t feel the need though. And on the pages of the fabulous world of tabloids, there is so much retouched girl skin, it’s like we live in a nudist colony.
So I must ask an age old question: with all this flesh, where is the man candy? Well, anywhere Matthew McConaughey is. Even if he is not your type, as a red blooded American woman, I have to appreciate the fact that the man is always naked. And I mean always. I just Googled him and there was nary a stitch on him in any photo.
Luckily the zany character from Texas has a pretty decent bod. Good tan, penchant for board shorts, six pack abs. And he is ready for you to check it out! He is rather well known for cavorting in the (almost) buff with Lance Armstrong; those two may be the original bromance. But I think where I appreciated his bod the most was in the life-changing film, “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.” Matthew is forced to take off his shirt after he is splashed by some mud on his motorcycle and then what do you know, Kate Hudson and him get frisky in his parents’ bathroom. The man must have a clause in every movie. No nude scene, no muscles McConaughey. I’ll take it!
Typical Matthew pic. I bet he even goes shirtless to black-tie affairs.
Here he is not wearing a shirt in a venue where others are clothed. It's probably a state dinner.
We have a signed lease! YAAAAAY! Finally, we can move!!!
Some Catholics may quibble and say my Saint Joseph statue didn’t do his duty because we didn’t actually SELL our house, but honestly, finding someone to rent the place from us is just as good. In fact, it’ll be better to wait to sell until the market rebounds a bit more. Plus our renter is a nice, normal person with great credit and no inclinations to spray-paint the walls neon pink or skin goats alive in our bathtub — pretty much a dream tenant.
Now the packing begins since we’re set to move the first week in June. Pretty soon, we’ll be Delawarians — is that what they’re called? Oops, I just looked on Google and I guess it’s “Delawarean.” I guess I’ll just have to furiously study Delaware fun facts online before our move date. Like — what’s the official state drink? Do we have a mascot? Oh, the things I’ll have to learn!
Somehow, this doesn't seem as bad ass as when people from Texas say it.
While I’ve been home in Erie I’ve been trying to get caught up on my column for Washington Life. As a result, for the past few days, most of my time’s been spent online stalking DC’s quasi-celebrities. Though I search the MLS and Google, my favorite stalking tool is WhitePages.com. In fact, I use the site so much that I should probably share my byline with them. But for the column, it’s SOOOO useful; all I have to do is type in an address and I can find out who lives in the house. I can see where all the big wigs and muckety mucks in town are buying and selling.
I must say, I am perfectly suited to my job. I like researching stuff on the Internet and then writing about it. Plus, I’ve always enjoyed recreational stalking. In high school my friends and I would call each other up and ask, “Wanna stalk?” Then we’d ride around the city driving by the homes of “hot” boys honking. If we were feeling especially brave, we’d pull in their driveway and scream “You’re SEXY!!!” out the windows.
So now that I’m happily married, I can channel all that creepy energy into researching people and where they live on a professional level. It’s a perfect fit!
I’ll be honest, I am writing this post during the commercial breaks in the men’s figure skating long program, one of my favorite Olympic events. I am a horrible figure skater, but that does not keep me from adoring the sport and the sequined outfits that go with it. And then of course there are the booties.
I have always liked the male backside. It’s the second thing I look at on a man. (The first is the face, get your mind out of the gutter!) But during the Olympics I have a whole new appreciation. There are some mighty magnificent rear ends in these games. And some of the largest of these splendid ends were in pairs skating. It was almost distracting. Men’s pairs skaters have hams strapped to the top of their thighs (evidence below). Speed skaters pack in the back too, while with solo figure skaters, it’s a guessing game.
Another reason I really like a man’s tail end is because it seems almost outlawed. Us women are supposed to like biceps and chivalry. Dependable men who will woo us and weather the storm by our sides. But I need more than that. I need something to distract me between commercial breaks. My own boyfriend, sporter of a nice butt, decided that sleep is more important than figure skating and abandoned me this evening. So it’s just me and the men of team USA.
When the Olympics end, and the spandex is gone, I think I will survive. There are other things to appreciate about men like brains and personality and blah blah blah. But until then, bring on the aerodynamic, skintight, booty exposing red white and blue!
PS – This entry was very fun to write as I just spent the last 15 minutes Googling “best men’s asses” for images. There are some good ones out there – it was terribly hard to decide!
Men’s pairs skaters have enormous booties. It’s almost like the third partner.
Another pairs bubble butt. This time from Germany!
Ahh the football player. Those pants must have been invented by a woman.
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