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Stacey thanks the people that made THE WIG

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

I seriously think this blonde mullet wig is magic. Purchased for Grey like six Halloweens ago, the wig has now been relegated to a costume box at my parents house. I came across it yesterday while I was hunting for my old report cards in the attic (because I do random crap like this when I’m home visiting). Touching its plasticky platinum locks immediately brought a smile to my face.

I don’t know what it is about this wig, but anyone who wears it looks obscenely ridiculous. It confuses your gender and makes you act like you’re an escaped mental patient. Donning the $14 dollar hairpiece is the equivalent of drinking ten beers and smoking a fat joint. While wearing it, everything is a game and the world is a happy place full of rainbows and puppy dogs.

It’s amazing.

This may be the most hideous picture of me ever taken. I was hesitant to include it, but as you can see, the wig temporarily transformed me into a deranged man with extremely shiny skin. My brother, just by standing next to me while I'm wearing the wig, is affected by its power.