driving to PA « nakedthanks.com

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Stacey thanks weather guy for saving her from being an Amish slave

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

Biggie Letter0040

This weekend we were supposed to travel first to Grey’s Nana’s house in Lancaster, PA and then on to Penn State for my brother’s graduation. But after listening to weatherman Doug Hill’s warning’s of impending doom and snowfall of up to two feet, we decided it probably wasn’t the best idea to take to the road.

Thank God we listened; traveling would have been a nightmare and driving through the mountains of PA could have been something from a scene from “Deliverance: The Christmas Edition.” I have a fear of Amish people and I can just imagine what those crazy Pennsylvania Dutch would have done to us if they had found our modern little family buried in the snow in our “Satan mobile” along the side of the road. Let’s just put it this way, instead of Grey being snuggled on the couch with a beer and nachos, he’d most likely be some hefty Amish woman’s new bitch. I’d be sold off to a guy named Amos while Ollie would be raised to believe his parents were minions of the devil who died in a drunken buggy accident.

Whew. That was a close one!

Just think: Instead of having fun in the snow all day, we could have been stuck in the snow on some back road in Pennsylvania with no other option than hitching a ride with a psychotic truck driver named "Big Whiskey" who planned on killing us all so he could wear our skin.

Just think: Instead of having fun in the snow all day, we could have been stuck on some back road in Pennsylvania with no other option than hitching a ride with a psychotic truck driver named "Big Whiskey" who planned on killing us all so he could wear our skins.