Why is it that Halloween, to some people, means dressing like a total skank? Now, I have nothing against dressing like a skank, truly, I don’t. But in my humble opinion, Halloween is a time to be creative and funny — not just to wear one of the hundreds of slutty costume combos sold at the local Halloween Superstore.
Today Ollie and I went last minute costume shopping and I was thoroughly entertained by all the skank suits at Actor’s Attic. However, also a little dismayed. Every get-up for women there was the same formula only different colors: fish net thigh highs, headband ears of some sort, and a bustiere with flouncy skirt. A slutty bunny! A slutty nurse! A slutty eskimo! A slutty nun! A slutty Freddy Krueger! A slutty mime (possible? apparently)! There seemed to be no creativity in these outfits. How much more fun to act like a slut, but a slut dressed as Pope John Paul II? Or to have a one night stand, but decked out as masked luchador? Or a gigantic drumstick? No amount of fabric or opaque material can take away your inner whore, ladies. Remember that.
And if the girls’ costumes were formulaic, the guys’ costumes were too. The trend with men’s costumes seems to be some object, with a gigantic themed phallus attached to it in the crotch area. A Breathalyzer with a “blow me!’ hose! A fisherman with an enormous “catch of the day” on his pants! And my favorite, a petting zoo with a furry llama charging fully erect! At least the men’s costumes were funny, albeit in a semi-trite way. But back in my single days, I much rather would have made out with a man dressed as an authentic looking Mister T than with some dude with a sequined disco ball taped to his penis. But maybe that’s just me…
Happy Costume Hunting!