Saturday night here in Washington was our  version of a blizzard. This means that everyone in the city forgets how to drive, the road crews decide it’s a good time for a vacation, grocery stores sell out of everything edible, and there is absolutely nothing to do. Luckily, Miss America aired on Saturday and kept the boredom from killing me. There is something so darn patriotic about Miss America that it’s hard not to love. Sure, it’s not exactly the most “girl power” of competitions, but these chicks have to be hot enough to prance around in a bikini, smart enough to answer some ridiculous question on live television and have a talent of sorts. Plus, they wear soooo much makeup and hairspray that the very high-maintenance girl in me  just loves it. It’s ridiculous!

While some girls were a tad tragic – i.e. Nebraska state pageant director, it is never okay to have a purple felt purse as an accessory in the talent competition – others were actually quite good. Of course I am very biased, but DC and Virginia rocked the talent competition and I was thrilled to see VA walk away with the crown.

Here are a few highlights from my text messaging frenzy on pageant night. I’m thinking next year I should just be a Miss America “sports”caster on ESPN too so all of America can participate in this super bowl for prissy chicks.

MISS AMERICA PLAY BY PLAY

Georgia: We should learn that Miss America dance, it’s easier than the “Center Stage” routine but just as well choreographed.

Karin: Great idea! I’m going for Cali, Oregon, and Puerto Rico

Georgia: Okay, I like Puerto Rico, Wisconsin, and Vermont

Karin: Who are these tools so far!

Holly: I know. Mississippi is a nut ball.

Georgia: OMG this event keeps getting better. Shawn Johnson!

Karin: This is going to be very stiff competition.

Georgia: I like Mario Lopez, he aged well. Such smooth skin!

Holly: Why do everyone’s thighs seem huge? The angle?

Karin: Is it because we always see models?

Holly: I think so, that’s sad.

Karin: What is this crap?

Holly: Is this for real? I can do that.

Karin: Miss Hawaii’s favorite accessory is a smile!!

Holly: Hahahahah

Yeah Miss VA. She had 'em in the talent competition. And the yellow! So now!

The future of Miss America? I'm not saying that I think it's a good thing to enter your impressionable child into the pageant world, but the TLC show Toddlers and Tiaras is soooo voyeristic and addictive.

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Last night, Craig and I decided that we would have a whole evening devoted to his Nebraska roots. As I have dragged him to the ballet and made him watch chick flicks all week long, I figured it was the least I could do. Plus, I love a cowboy. Even an “I go to Georgetown Law and got these boots at J.Crew” one. There are many urban cowboys at Nick’s. CPAs by day, line dancers by night. But Craig is not one of them. In fact, a little Travis Tritt and a plaid shirt and the man is almost frighteningly c.o.u.n.t.r.y.

I on the other hand am rather intimidated by a synchronized dance. What if I step on my neighbor’s foot? What if I slow up the line with my inferior toe taps? So when the ”El Paso Two Step” was called by a very large man named Scruff and Craig got his “let’s give it a whirl, little girl” look in his eye, I immediately hid my head in his armpit and refused to take the floor. People at Nick’s are amazing group dancers and I just don’t feel that it’s right to infringe on their space. But after two whiskeys, I let Craig push me around the joint and yelled at him for traveling too much. He was just so darn excited to be back in his element that I’m surprised he didn’t start yee-hawing his way across the Mason-Dixon line.

It was fun to see Craig happy as a lark and play hillbilly for a night. And let’s be honest, I absolutely love any excuse for big hair, too much makeup, push up bras and Jack Daniels.

This is a pic from my birthday two years ago. Yes, it was held at Nicks land of "cowboys," Veterans' night, and really cheap shots.

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