Saturday night here in Washington was our version of a blizzard. This means that everyone in the city forgets how to drive, the road crews decide it’s a good time for a vacation, grocery stores sell out of everything edible, and there is absolutely nothing to do. Luckily, Miss America aired on Saturday and kept the boredom from killing me. There is something so darn patriotic about Miss America that it’s hard not to love. Sure, it’s not exactly the most “girl power” of competitions, but these chicks have to be hot enough to prance around in a bikini, smart enough to answer some ridiculous question on live television and have a talent of sorts. Plus, they wear soooo much makeup and hairspray that the very high-maintenance girl in me just loves it. It’s ridiculous!
While some girls were a tad tragic – i.e. Nebraska state pageant director, it is never okay to have a purple felt purse as an accessory in the talent competition – others were actually quite good. Of course I am very biased, but DC and Virginia rocked the talent competition and I was thrilled to see VA walk away with the crown.
Here are a few highlights from my text messaging frenzy on pageant night. I’m thinking next year I should just be a Miss America “sports”caster on ESPN too so all of America can participate in this super bowl for prissy chicks.
MISS AMERICA PLAY BY PLAY
Georgia: We should learn that Miss America dance, it’s easier than the “Center Stage” routine but just as well choreographed.
Karin: Great idea! I’m going for Cali, Oregon, and Puerto Rico
Georgia: Okay, I like Puerto Rico, Wisconsin, and Vermont
Karin: Who are these tools so far!
Holly: I know. Mississippi is a nut ball.
Georgia: OMG this event keeps getting better. Shawn Johnson!
Karin: This is going to be very stiff competition.
Georgia: I like Mario Lopez, he aged well. Such smooth skin!
Holly: Why do everyone’s thighs seem huge? The angle?
Karin: Is it because we always see models?
Holly: I think so, that’s sad.
Karin: What is this crap?
Holly: Is this for real? I can do that.
Karin: Miss Hawaii’s favorite accessory is a smile!!