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Posts Tagged ‘blizzard’

Karin thanks winter sports for the mavericks

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

swiss tourism

If you work in media, you get press releases. I don’t care if you are an obit writer or a Pulitzer Prize winner, if you are involved with a publication, you’re going to get spammed by places like The House of Magnets (these people send me five emails a week), the united onion lobbyists, and a whole series of others who you don’t want to hear from. But sometimes, in the heap, there is a little gem. My favorite press release of the month came to my inbox on Friday from the Switzerland Tourism Bureau and was titled “Swiss Olympics – Disciplines you have never heard of.”

How could I not open this email? I absolutely love the Olympics and I am always open to new and improved winter sports. The velogemel certainly counts as a sport that should be considered for the next Olympics. In fact perhaps the powers that be should attend the velogemel world championship in Grindelwald , which happen to take place today, and assess if the sport is something the world could get behind. Personally, I see myself excelling at the velogemel. I am best at things where you can just sit there and fly down a mountain with no common sense.

I saw about a half million rugrats on sleds today, but I guarantee you that when I have kids, they will have velogemels. Imagine how incredibly popular they would be on a day like today when two feet of snow blanket our city. If only all Americans had wooden snow bicycles, there would probably have been fewer tears over this snowpalloza hoopla. It’s just frozen water my friends!

Thank goodness there are the Swiss to remind us frightened folks below the Mason Dixon line that blizzards inspire ridiculous sports with names that sound like diseases. Yeah!!

This is the velogemel. I could have really used one today in Washington turned Anchorage.

This is the velogemel. I could have really used one today in Washington turned Anchorage.

Tags: blizzard, huts, press releases, snowpalloza, Swiss tourism bureau, Switzerland, velogemel, Washington DC, wooden bicycle
Posted in Exercise, Travel, Work | No Comments »

Karin thanks the spray-tanned 2010 Miss America contestants

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Miss America

Saturday night here in Washington was our version of a blizzard. This means that everyone in the city forgets how to drive, the road crews decide it’s a good time for a vacation, grocery stores sell out of everything edible, and there is absolutely nothing to do. Luckily, Miss America aired on Saturday and kept the boredom from killing me. There is something so darn patriotic about Miss America that it’s hard not to love. Sure, it’s not exactly the most “girl power” of competitions, but these chicks have to be hot enough to prance around in a bikini, smart enough to answer some ridiculous question on live television and have a talent of sorts. Plus, they wear soooo much makeup and hairspray that the very high-maintenance girl in me just loves it. It’s ridiculous!

While some girls were a tad tragic – i.e. Nebraska state pageant director, it is never okay to have a purple felt purse as an accessory in the talent competition – others were actually quite good. Of course I am very biased, but DC and Virginia rocked the talent competition and I was thrilled to see VA walk away with the crown.

Here are a few highlights from my text messaging frenzy on pageant night. I’m thinking next year I should just be a Miss America “sports”caster on ESPN too so all of America can participate in this super bowl for prissy chicks.

MISS AMERICA PLAY BY PLAY

Georgia: We should learn that Miss America dance, it’s easier than the “Center Stage” routine but just as well choreographed.

Karin: Great idea! I’m going for Cali, Oregon, and Puerto Rico

Georgia: Okay, I like Puerto Rico, Wisconsin, and Vermont

Karin: Who are these tools so far!

Holly: I know. Mississippi is a nut ball.

Georgia: OMG this event keeps getting better. Shawn Johnson!

Karin: This is going to be very stiff competition.

Georgia: I like Mario Lopez, he aged well. Such smooth skin!

Holly: Why do everyone’s thighs seem huge? The angle?

Karin: Is it because we always see models?

Holly: I think so, that’s sad.

Karin: What is this crap?

Holly: Is this for real? I can do that.

Karin: Miss Hawaii’s favorite accessory is a smile!!

Holly: Hahahahah

Miss America

Yeah Miss VA. She had 'em in the talent competition. And the yellow! So now!

The future of Miss America? I'm not saying that I think it's a good thing to enter your impressionable child into the pageant world, but the TLC show Toddlers and Tiaras is soooo voyeristic and addictive.

The future of Miss America? I'm not saying that I think it's a good thing to enter your impressionable child into the pageant world, but the TLC show Toddlers and Tiaras is soooo voyeristic and addictive.

Tags: blizzard, boob tape, Georgia, Holly, Miss America, patriotism, spray tan, toupee glue, WD-40
Posted in Beauty, Friends, Girl Talk | 2 Comments »

Karin thanks Georgia the adventurer

Monday, February 1st, 2010

georgia2

If I had a zillion dollars, I would tie a dish rag to a stick, throw some luxury goods inside and head for the hills. In short, my dream in life is to be an adventurer/explorer/hobo but with a lot of money and a satellite phone. Sadly, I don’t get to live like this on a day to day basis and instead push glossy pages from 9 a.m. till god knows when five days a week. That’s why I just love having people in my life who are ready to jump off a cliff, break a law, or do something absurd at any hour of every day. Stacey is definitely one of them, which is why it’s so fun to Naked Thank with her. Another of these “go hard or go home” types is my lovable former intern, Georgia.

Georgia, who is currently a senior at GW, has had the very good idea of writing a book called “My Year on the Compound: A Badass’ Guide to the Fundamental Latter Day Saints.” I think this idea has best seller written all over it. Plus, Georgia really is genuinely interested in learning more about the Mormon faith, so I’m sure she would do a fantastic job. Of course this all means she would have to live on an FLDS compound for quite sometime, which might not go that smoothly for a city gal.

To make the transition from college student to FLDS member easier for Georgia, we decided to go to the Mormon Temple visitor’s center on one of the snowiest days of the year to learn more about the Latter Day Saints, who don’t really have much in common with the FLDS, but heck, have to start somewhere. We ended up getting an hour long tour from one of the missionaries from Uganda and watched a 17 minute movie about Mormonism in our own private theater.

But the very best part was when Georgia told Sister Ndgera that she was still searching for her religious identity and Sister Ndgera assured Georgia that God still loved her. We got a real kick out of that one. But Sister Ndgera was right, whether Georgia decides to become an LDS, FLDS, or another religion, God does still love her and so do I. Next up for us? Watching Olympic figure skating in actual skating costumes and hitting up Ladies Night at the local shooting range.

: I almost bit off my tongue from laughter when I opened this lovely photoshoped number from Georgia. Sometimes one needs to see themselves in the religion before adopting it.

Another photoshoped number. Georgia with the sister wives. Genius!

Another photoshoped number. Georgia with the sister wives. Genius!

On a snowy day, the best thing to do is learn about other cultures and religions. That's why Georgia and I drove to Maryland in a blizzard to spend an hour at the Mormon Temple visitor's center.

On a snowy day, the best thing to do is learn about other cultures and religions. That's why Georgia and I drove to Maryland in a blizzard to spend an hour at the Mormon Temple visitor's center.

Tags: adventure, blizzard, FLDS, Fundamental Latter Day Saints, Georgia, LDS, missionary, Mormon Temple, Mormons, Olympics, shooting range
Posted in Friends, Just Plain Wrong | 2 Comments »

Stacey thanks weather guy for saving her from being an Amish slave

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

Biggie Letter0040

This weekend we were supposed to travel first to Grey’s Nana’s house in Lancaster, PA and then on to Penn State for my brother’s graduation. But after listening to weatherman Doug Hill’s warning’s of impending doom and snowfall of up to two feet, we decided it probably wasn’t the best idea to take to the road.

Thank God we listened; traveling would have been a nightmare and driving through the mountains of PA could have been something from a scene from “Deliverance: The Christmas Edition.” I have a fear of Amish people and I can just imagine what those crazy Pennsylvania Dutch would have done to us if they had found our modern little family buried in the snow in our “Satan mobile” along the side of the road. Let’s just put it this way, instead of Grey being snuggled on the couch with a beer and nachos, he’d most likely be some hefty Amish woman’s new bitch. I’d be sold off to a guy named Amos while Ollie would be raised to believe his parents were minions of the devil who died in a drunken buggy accident.

Whew. That was a close one!

Just think: Instead of having fun in the snow all day, we could have been stuck in the snow on some back road in Pennsylvania with no other option than hitching a ride with a psychotic truck driver named "Big Whiskey" who planned on killing us all so he could wear our skin.

Just think: Instead of having fun in the snow all day, we could have been stuck on some back road in Pennsylvania with no other option than hitching a ride with a psychotic truck driver named "Big Whiskey" who planned on killing us all so he could wear our skins.

Tags: Amish hell, blizzard, butter churn, Doug Hill, driving to PA, irrational fears, snow, weather guy
Posted in Just Plain Wrong, Travel | 2 Comments »