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Stacey thanks the Fed’s Big Cheese

Monday, April 26th, 2010

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Calling all gay couples, retired military bachelors, spinsters with no pets, and traveling salesmen! Since we hadn’t had any bites on our house, Grey and I finally decided to take it off the market and just rent it out until the market rebounds a bit more. As much as I wanted to unload this beeotch, keeping it and having a renter help us pay off the mortgage seems much more fiscally responsible than selling it for dirt cheap.

So now that it’s time to go dig up St. Joe and his severed head out of the yard, we also need to start hunting for a perfect tenant. Ideally, we’d like someone totally anal retentive about cleanliness and disgusted by keg parties, animal fur, and strong smelling food. Hoarders and and anyone with extremely wild and destructive children need not apply.

Even though finding someone to rent our house will be a certain amount of work, I’m just so happy the place finally doesn’t have to be show-ready 24/7. Keeping it clean all the time was getting SOOOOO old. I honestly felt I’d spontaneously burst into flames if I had to wipe down the counters and mop the floors one more time. Plumping the couch pillows yet again may have sent me into a fit of insanity. Making the bed made my brain hurt. Even flushing the toilet was starting to really piss me off. And yes, I know we’re going to have to clean it up before potential tenants do a walk through, but at least we can decide when they come through and we won’t be at some Realtor’s 15-minute mercy to show the place. YAY!

Well, I’m off to go bask in my own filth and throw some pork rinds on the floor and smear the walls with Crisco!