Now that we’re small town folk, I’m happily noticing all the charm that comes along with living outside the big city. In fact, in our own back yard, we have a family of cute little bunnies that have made their home somewhere. This comes as a pleasant surprise, because in Arlington, all we had were big black squirrels that would eat our trash and chew through our pumpkins at Halloween. One time I even saw one on the back porch eating a discarded corn cob with his little paws just like a human!
I only have one little problem with the rabbits in my yard — and it’s probably just as illogical as my fear of the Amish. My issue is this: One time, I saw Satan take the form of a bunny. I’m not kidding, I seriously think I looked in the face of the Devil himself — and what form was he in? A bunny rabbit. Odd, yes, I would have pictured seeing him as raging Rottweiler (The Omen, anyone?) or maybe a cat (I HATE cats), but against my preconcieved notions, old Lucifer made his debut as Thumper.
It was back in California when I was teaching junior high at a Catholic school. Though my primary focus was English, I was also charged with the monumental task of teaching theology. Of all the jobs I’ve been poorly qualified for in my life, I think this, religion teacher to 7th graders, takes the cake for most ill-suited. But of course, I tried to make the best of it and organized as many field trips as possible to make the class fun for the kids. On one such trip, I accompanied 60 12-year-olds to an old monastery where we prayed with monks and sang Kumbaya in the courtyard.
The one odd thing about the monastery grounds was just how many bunnies were hopping around. The kids and I found it cute until one of my students pointed out a pack of red-eyed rabbits gathered around another bunny…EATING IT ALIVE! Of course, since we were on holy ground, the only explanation I could come up with for carnivorous rabbits was that the rabbits were actually possessed by demons. And, looking back, I sincerely hope me saying, “Kids, that’s what Satan looks like” didn’t scare anyone away from the Catholic church or organized religion in general…
Tags: are bunnies evil?, black squirrels in Arlington, cannibalism, carnivorous bunnies, Catholic School Teacher, creepy as hell, Delaware Animal Control, fear of the Amish, haunted monastery, The Omen